Well thinks are now worst because my granfather died yesterday. I am so sad because he meant everything to me. My mom and my cousin are a wreck and well I am trying to seem like the strongest one but seriously I want to scream. My bf has being very supportive and we being together for 2 weeks or maybe a week and a half. I dont know but he is so nice to me. I am happy for that part but why do good people are the one who suffered more in the world why my granpa had to died. I really miss him and sometimes I thinks that is all a dream and nothing is real. I wish that could be true. I am trying not to think much about it because I really hate being sad. I keep all to myself. I can have fun and laughing and dying inside at the same time. Well keep you post it. Bye. Lacee happy birhtday hunny I am going to see if I can come over on saturday to celebrate your birthday ok. bye.

When I though I was lost I met a new guy his name is Fernando, just like my dad maybe is a sign lol. He is so nice to me but I have to admit he is crazy as hell. We being together 3 days now and it seems like a really long time. He is really cool. I went to his house on saturday and came back at five. You know we did do it and stuff but thats not the point it was the way we did. And afterwards we stay in bed for 3 hours more just kissing once every 10 minutes, but just talking and stuff. Dont think bad I met this guy like a year ago or more before I was with my ex and stuff but I just didnt really see a posibility there. Now I do. He treats me so right that I feel good with him. The sad part is that his ex (she is almost 30 or 35) is a BiT**. She came today to his house and we were there watching a movie and stuff and she came with an actitud and I didnt really know her so I was surprise. Well she through me on of those things you put in tables so they would look nice in the middle. Made out of crystal and stuff. Well that thing could hurt me really bad. She through it to my head but he got in the middle and it hit the sofa. We left and his step dad was the one who got into it because I was really embarrased. Dont know what to do. I know that he is not with her anymore but I really like being with him and I think if he is not going to last with me at least I can enjoy being with him while the relationship works. KISSES AND HUGS. Give advice.

I met another boy in my life he is 17 so that will be 2 years younger than me...I dont really like younger people but this one is really smart for his age...Oh my god he is almost my brothers age what in the world am I thinking. The thing is we met through myspace.com and well his lives in florida just like Alejandro which is weird really because trying to get off confusion for having a long distance relation it doesnt really help at all having another boy in the same situation...I dont know my lives gets complicated by the day. My friends are having issues and at the same time that its affecting me its not affecting me too much. But I really care about them and I dont want them to suffer. I wish I could fix everybodies problems. Well need a lot of feedback to see what choices people think I should make. I know all my friends are going to support me no matter what but I am still confused. LOVE EVERYBODY.

Boys are completely nuts this days I dont know what their deal is. I called Ale oh well he called me and we started to talk and how when he came we were going to see how are feelings for eachothers are if just a friend thing or a bf-gf situation. I dont know....also I called the internation bf of mine and ohhh my god he is the sweetest boy ever. He told me how he misses me and wish I was there...and how he went to a dinner at a friend house and all there was missing was me. His sister loves me, or basically everybody in that family likes me a lot. I dont know what I am going to do because I hate long distance relationship they never work or at least not for me. But I dont know I feel the need of having this one to see how it is going to turn out. I really miss everybody back from where I am from....Plus my cousin is insisting on me going to Miami for 2 weeks and I really want to go seriously because I missed them and I want to see Ale too. I dont know I am so freaking confused about all this...but I need to go through it because if I would have stayed living over there I would have had to deal with Ale sooner or later. Ok and my friends are going to a hell of other stuff and I just freaking out completely. Hope everything works out for the best. LOVE TO EVERYONE.

Well Lacee is Ale is the one who lives in Miami. And well he called last night and told me he is thinking about coming to Austin over the next months and also that he might even think to move over here. I dont really want to make my hopes up. And I know that I still have the bf in Cuba but I dont know I really confused about all this. Basically I dont really know them know them. I havent seen any of them in 6 years. They could have changed a lot. I think that I getting confunsed because I want to see them so bad. But until I see them, and faced like my past I cant really be completely happy even if Lacee finds me a white bf like she told me. Its not about a bf is just I can really put my mind 100% because I missed them. Well let see if he calls me today on his work brake like he told me. PRAY FOR ME.

Cloud.

Things getting worst and worst by the minute. I got online and I saw Ale online and got really happy, but my stupid brother got into an argument and kick me out of internet. Well when I got back he was offline already. I being crying because I am desperate to see what I feel when I see him. Whats my reaccion and what its his reaccion. I dont know I am confused and I can keep going like this. Someone explain to me what should I do. I can barely sleep because I am constantly thinking about him. Am I crazy because someone needs to tell me. Dont people read my blogs. PLEASE DO. well ttyl hope tomorrow is a better day for me. At least thats what I hope for.

Cloud.