live is complicated

My friends wrote me a lot of feedback on my last entry and I know I deserve something better, and its not like I dont want it but I want to see first want happens with Ale and the one in Cuba. I dont know its like we need closure or something like that. I am not really sure whats going on in my head but I have a lot of mix feelings. Ale keeps telling me how wonderful our relationship was, and how I was special to him, but on the other hand I dont really know what to think. He is what you call a hottie and gave me a lot of headaches back in the day. My question is has he changed, or is he still being that cutte little boy that I felt for. I know the one back in Cuba is nice, and I used to like him and I love the things he writes me every week but I dont want to get confused with him, and by that I mean hurt his feelings. He is wonderful but I dont really know what I feel for any of them. My ex is just what makes me feel alive. He is nuts, and crazy and have that passion that I need sometimes. Is what you call feelings like a women. I wish my friends would have this same problems b/c their problems are worse and I worried about them. They dont really know how to help me and I dont even know how to help them either.I just hope in 20 years we can look back and laugh at this...EVERYSINGLE ONE OF US....A friend told me to choose the one with more money but those that really matter, am i going to base a life decision over something so supersficial...what about looks. dont know but i sure going to find out in the next 3 months. give feedback soon.