confusing situation.

Guys are getting worse and worse. And I just lost it today. I called my ex and sleeped with him. He made me feel alived like I meant something to him. We dont like eachother but we have that chemistry. I felt like I was in heaven just because he made me feel that way. Ale hasnt called and the other boy either...They like for me to call them and I am not that kinda of girl who goes after boy and boy and go crazy and stuff. I like for them to call me like all times. I dont know I dont understand them seriously. What should I do...I know me and my ex are always going to have that for eachother but seriously is that all I want or do I want someone who cares about me, and tells me what I want to hear. I dont know so many questions and no answers at all. I am 19 and I can still find love thruthfully do we ever do. I mean can we ever find true love or is it just a dream. GIVE FEEDBACK PEOPLE. LOVE TO EVERYONE.